This is Keian.  He is 15 in this picture.  Handsome, isn’t he?  He is taking the typical teen selfie — ok who am I kidding, even adults do this now!  He is taking the typical selfie pic with his phone in the mirror probably before he heads out the door for school.

photo from kvia.com
photo from kvia.com

Keian’s mom, Marcy was taking her kids to school on October 31st, 2012.  She dropped off her two sweet girls and probably gave them all kinds of tender advice for their day.  Then it was time to take Keian to the High School.

But they never made it to the High School.

A 21-year-old woman was headed the opposite direction as they were, and it appears from the investigations that she was texting and driving.  I do that all the time.

“Yes, on my way.”  or …
“UGH – I know! Boys are so crazy!” or …
“K, will email it to you when I get home.” or …
“On my way to the store, need anything?”

I can type pretty fast with my right thumb.  I was actually disappointed when we upgraded to iPhones because I was a beast with my old phone.  I could feel the buttons with my thumb and could text without even looking… 4 … 555…666…888…33…88  (I love you).  I had the keypad memorized.  Easy-peasy.

I’m careful to only text when I’m not in a huge pack of cars on the highway, or when I’m at a stoplight — ooops, it’s green!, and I only text in neighborhoods after I’ve made sure no kids are around.

Is this transparency making you cringe?  It’s all truth.  And I am embarrassed to admit it all, but hey, I’ve never been in a texting related accident so clearly I know how to do it.

That 21-year-old female in New Mexico driving to work or home or to see her mom or wherever she was heading — I bet she had never been in a texting related accident either.  But that day, her actions ended up killing Marcy and Keian.

Their family never saw them again.

I wish you could see my cursor blinking right now, and hear my heart pounding, and see the tears pooling in my eyes.

I don’t want to be responsible for a Marcy and a Keian not making it to school, or even worse, not making it to the dinner table to laugh and pray with their family.  Their family will never go on another family vacation without feeling the weight of the two people missing from their car.  They will never go to another restaurant and ask for a table for 3 without thinking “it used to be a table for 5.”  I don’t want to sit in a courtroom and hear how thoughtless and selfish my actions were that ripped a loving and tender mother away from her daughters… and took a dad’s only son from his life … forever.

Not to mention how it would impact my own family.  My son would grow up without me and I would be in a cell in some prison looking at his pictures and reading every letter over and over and over again.  I wouldn’t be able to teach him how to drive, or be there for his High School prom, or graduation, or college years.  I might not be there when he gets married, and would be giddy to see the wedding pictures that come in the mail to my cell…. and I don’t mean phone…  wait, would he even want a relationship with me anymore? Would I even get pictures and letters?  My husband would struggle with the choice to stay married to me, a killer.  We wouldn’t snuggle in bed and laugh at stupid commercials together…  I would ruin all of that for my family.

I’ve been texting and driving for at least 7 years if not more.  With my son in the car.  On highways.  In neighborhoods.  In parking lots… all because I thought my messages were incredibly important and couldn’t wait.

But the message of taking someone’s life because I needed you to know I will email you when I get home?  That’s a message I don’t ever want to send….

It can wait.

Click on that link above to take the pledge with me.  Stop texting and driving – TODAY.  Write Marcy and Keian on your steering wheel if you need to. Just stop.  I’m on my 8th day of no texting and driving — and it isn’t easy to break a 7+ year habit, but taking someone else’s life isn’t something I can live with…. waiting to send that text is TOTALLY something I can live with.  Thanks to my friend Beth, who knew Marcy and Keian, my perspective has changed.

Leave a comment if you will take the pledge with me.
No judgement.
Just grace.

Because I’ve taken the pledge before and failed — and I need to know there are others out there who will stand with me and will make the change with me too.

 

 

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14 thoughts on “i use 2 text & dri…

  1. Proud to work for the company who has helped push this so hard and get it attention! I have taken in the past and have recommitted to the pledge!

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  2. My kids (yes, even my 4 year old) are the angels on my shoulder for this. They yell at me. They are keeping me honest. My phone stays in my purse. Right now I’m training myself by putting my purse in the back seat so I’m not tempted. I’m relearning the joy of driving – it is joyous to pay attention to your journey! It’s HARD. I checked my phone after dropping my 10 year old off at school this morning. Nothing important. The phone went back into my purse and into the back seat.

    I have a daughter who is around 5 years from her driver’s license. This is my way of making sure she gets there, and making sure I am there to help her along the way…and making sure that she doesn’t ever start this nasty habit.

    It really can wait.

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    1. Way to go Kate! I had to put mine in the trunk one day because it was so tempting. But then I realized it was way too far from me in case of an emergency so I keep it in my wallet in my door now.

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  3. I’m taking the pledge. I have already taken steps previous to now to keep from texting and holding the phone while driving. (like a Bluetooth)
    This tragedy of this mother and her son happened here in my hometown, where I still live. I passed by the scene not long after it happened and had to pass it several times as the highway was closed for several hours……what made me sicker then finding out it was a texter that killed the mom and son, was the drivers sticking out their windows taking pictures with their phones, almost causing more wrecks. When will people learn??
    Fortunate, after this horrible wreck, the NM department of transportation put up a cable barrier between the East and West bound sides and that has helped to keep cars on the correct sides even though people still loose control from texting and driving. Many lives have been saved from head on crashes from that cable barrier but SO many more could be save if we all just wait till we are not driving to read and respond to that text.

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  4. She was a sister to me, and he was my nephew. They were too young and had alot of life yet to see, but it helps the rest of us realize not to take life for granted. Her husband and daughters are amazing and so strong. I miss them more than words can express, but I am very fortune to be able to see her daughters grow and experience all the special moments in their lives. Please don’t text and drive, it really changes a families life ever.
    If you feel heartbreak and tears, just imagine how Marcy and Keian’s family feel every day that goes by because of someone else’s mistake. Please don’t be the one to hurt an
    innocent by standard or yourself due to driving and texting.<3

    If you are tearing up and feel heartbreak, now you know how her husband and daughters feel. Sime day

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    1. Yvette – I am so very sorry for your loss. I do hope this blog post helps spread the word about the permanent life changes that can happen when texting and driving. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your heart.

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