I went to a Women’s Conference this weekend and I experienced something I have never ever experienced before. I saw Jesus.
There were 12,000 women all singing praises to the Lord, and I closed my eyes and suddenly it was as though it was just me and the band in the room. Just us. Alone. I wasn’t aware of any other voices around me. No one else breathing or clapping or stomping or anything.
MercyMe was the band.
They were singing “Hurt and the Healer” which happens to be my #1 go-to song on the days that my pain is eating through my patience with teeth like piranhas. And then we got to the lyrics that make me reach for Jesus every… single… time.
Sometimes I feel it’s all that I can do.
With pain so deep that I can hardly move.
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on you.
Lord take hold and pull me through.”
And that’s where I met Jesus. And then the following happened within my soul. It was so real and so close that I could barely breathe – but not in a bad way…. does that even make sense?
I wish I could draw this for you — I’m going to reach out to a friend of mine who is an amazing artist and see if I can describe to her what I saw. Until then, I pray my words help you realize that He is reaching for YOU too.
Jesus is reaching for me
I can see His face
His hair covers his right eye
Sweat drips from his brow
His right arm reaches over the edge of the heavens
He is reaching for ME!
His muscles are tensed up
He wants me so bad
Yet He only whispers
He never yells
Everything is in black and white
The colors of heaven must be too great
for the limitations of my imagination
I am standing up on my toes
I am jumping up and down
I reach until the tendons in my arms hurt
and I have tears running down my face
I want you too, Jesus!
He is looking right at me.
He wants me. Me!
He doesn’t care about my past.
It’s all forgiven.
White as snow.
I see you, Jesus!
I hear you whispering my name!
I will never stop trying to reach you!
“You already have me.” He whispers.
“But you often forget
that I am with you.
I’m alive … In you.“
“Never stop looking for Me
Call my Name.
Reach for me.
My tears drip down my chin.
They stain my shirt.
I will always reach for you!
Thank you for being there,
even when I forget to look for you.”