Last week I got that call that every mother dreads… the school called to tell me that my son was injured and needed to go to the doctor. Turns out he tried to display some fancy footwork with a soccer ball and it backfired on him resulting in a full blown head bash into a brick wall. I know, we don’t do anything simple around here – we like to keep my husband on his toes.
I don’t typically panic when my son is hurt or having an asthma attack – I’m very calm and careful to drive the speed limit and so on. But there was one major problem on this particular day. I didn’t have a car. It was in the shop.
No problem, I texted my husband and said, ” I need you, please call me right away… I am ok.” —> I’ve made the mistake of freaking him out before with a vague text so now I know to include “I’m ok” in there so he doesn’t send squads and ambulances to the house!
He called back all frustrated at me and had an … “elevated” tone in his voice, “I’m BUSY — what is it?!?!?”
“William hit his head at school and he needs to get to a doctor. They think he might have a concussion.”
His next response COULD have sent me into an emotional spiral — but because I know how much he loves us AND how critical is position is at work — I was able to take it in stride. He said, “You’re going to have to figure it out – I absolutely CANNOT leave at this moment in time. Keep me up to speed via text, I can’t answer my phone again.”
This is where I am reminded that when we got married over 13 years ago, we UNITED together… which means we have each other’s backs. Even when tension is high, if I am sick, he is busy, or our son is throwing an all out fit… I know deep down he isn’t being mean and hurtful and he knows the same about me.
But that doesn’t mean we don’t need helmets sometimes when we go head to head! I’m no June Cleaver!
Our amazing neighbor was kind enough to take me to the school, and then drive 20 minutes in the opposite direction to get my car. I talked to the doctor and it turned out that we had to go to Children’s Hospital. I kept sending updates to my husband via text and he barely answered at all. But to my surprise, my husband came around the corner with a smile across his face just as we got out of the car
I knew he would get there as soon as he could and I returned the smile. All focus was on now on our kiddo, just as it should have been.
But – can you imagine how differently the scenario could have played out had I taken his words personally and carried around my offended carnage that afternoon? When he showed up at the hospital “united” isn’t exactly how we would be feeling.
In the end, all that mattered was that our son was just fine and after about 4 hours it was as though he just snapped out of it and was back to laughing at his own farts (a sure sign that your son is back to himself). As my husband and I waited hand-in-hand at the hospital he was able to tell me about his day in a non-defensive manner and I could see EXACTLY why there was absolutely no way he could have left the very moment I called.
That night we went to check on William after he zonked out and he said, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there today – it was stressing me out that I couldn’t leave!”
And without any disdain I was able to say, “I knew you would get there as soon as you could!”
Are all of our interactions as grace-filled as this one?
HECK NO! Oh my gosh —- just… no. And for crying out loud please don’t put me on a pedestal because with my history I will fall off and break something!
This is as much a reminder to me as it is to you — that when you’re married, it’s your responsibility to be UNITED. Even if it means setting your frustration to the side so you can see the whole picture.